And I can love

I go back

The Deaf, Blind and Mute

 

Love is blindness. And blinding.

How far will you go for a glance? How far would you go to hear a voice?

People are not mad. Love is what drives them mad.

Loving another more than you love yourself is what drives you up the wall. Unless you love yourself, you wont be able to love another, is this old legend that no one understands or comprehends. Do any one us love ourselves? Are we concerned about not hurting our feelings as much as we are about hurting another’s? Not really!

Love, lust and more is what drives each one of us. We are selfish only to the extent of getting what we want and then we are done. It all loses its charm once we have acquired the subject of our desires. Marriage, a relationship, a job, a new house or any gadget. Its all about possessions and territories. Owning some one or some thing. So what becomes of our self owning us? I doubt I ever thought about all the redeeming qualities I have, its mostly about how to get better and how to get a lil bit more, every day, every where. Wanting more is no crime. But not knowing or accepting all that you already have is.

Count your blessings. Be grateful. Stop losing yourself in the name of the game. Love is a beautiful emotion. It engulfs one; so blinding is its halo, that you don’t see the horns. It isn’t love that is to be blamed, as it usually is in all laments, sad songs; it isn’t even the ‘beloved’ that doesn’t want you or moves on to the next big thing. It is YOU. If you knew how to love yourself, how to respect you, how to accept and adore your good, bad and uglies, you would be on cloud number 9. You wouldn’t need a man or a woman to tell you how significant you are, how much of a difference your existence makes in their life, how badly your absence affects them. You would know who you are and who you aren’t. You would be exactly where you want and surprisingly, VERY happy!

I don’t know why no one talks about or sings about loving me! Its the best feeling in the world, very refreshing and liberating. Everyone learns it eventually, some the hard way, others when its too late and half their lives have passed them by. A mid life crisis is not really a crisis, its when you actually stop to think of smelling the roses and take a good hard look at yourself and say ‘this is not me, or who I want to be’. I love how people do that! Take a giant leap into the abyss and emerge knowing a lot more from the darkness than they ever did from the blinding lights they surrounded themselves with.

Forget loving thy neighbor for a few days.

Try loving you.

Let me know if that helps or hinders your quest for the happiness legend! 🙂  

 

All or None

Failure, as I see, is not what breaks us. Neither does its admission. It is the failure to realize that we have failed that does. It takes a big person with an even bigger heart coupled with a very tiny ego to admit that they did not succeed.

From birth, we are taught to win, at school, in a race to prove ourselves better than all around (or maybe even just a few). Being taller, prettier, smarter, bigger, faster, funnier, or any other ‘-er’, a few inches, a few points more. We are raised with the expectations that we will make our family proud by being superior in some way, somehow. Each small victory is celebrated massively and every stumble is dismissed actively. We want to show our children that we love them, but not their ‘faults’, their shortcomings. Coming from a family of over achievers is very trying if you have managed to disappoint in some aspect of your life, be it school, work or love. What we do not see or close our eyes and hearts to, is the spectrum of triumph and how broad it is..

What you may view as a problem, disappointment or mistake, may be a blessing millions pray for each day. The capacity to read, write, look, smell, taste, walk, touch, feel, breathe is desired by someone somewhere. Each moment you live, each breath you take is a celebration of your presence. Whether you lack the ability of sight or the vision of possibilities has deserted you is the question.

Not being able to see is not as tragic as not being able to dream.

Not being someone’s better half than not being half better than who you were yesterday.

Losing or winning the races or by the standards set by the world around, but forgetting your true potential leads you down the path of denial, self destruction and ultimately the greatest loss- the loss of the Real You. Failing at what you really want in life will not derail you or destroy you either. It will strengthen your resolve, solidify your belief in you and fuel a burst of energy toward your passions.

We fail each day. We still keep moving forward. Failing helps us learn. What to avoid, what not to do, and what to try. It brings out creativity and keeps the wheels turning.

Enjoy your disappointment more than your excitement. It will move you to move mountains.

Raise the bar.

Raise you.

A 100 million reasons: I’m happy and You know it!

Happiness is defined as ‘a : a state of well-being and contentment : joy.’ or  ‘b : a pleasurable or satisfying experience’ by Merriem Webster.

Why would there be any joy, if it weren’t for sadness? How would I realize the significance of one when I would have it always? If there is lack of happiness, or satisfaction, one comes to know what it means to have what one lost.

Is it a weakness to be translucent? To have it made obvious in your face, your eyes, your demeanour what you feel like at any given point of time. For some it is their greatest fault. For some, their strength. It may not be the best ‘corporate’ look. But it may exhibit your honesty, straight forwardness and even your vulnerability. Some brave the cold, the harshness by being who they are, what they are made apparent to everyone.

It came up in a casual communication among like minded souls who were trying to help each other look out for pot holes in the road that we are crawling, walking, running upon. I was told to practice the Art of Stonefaced-ness.   No one around you should be able to gauge what’s in your heart or mind. Your thoughts and feelings should be yours to control and show. Then, and then alone will you  be able to succeed in any and every facet of your life. Why is it that we do this? What gives birth to this concept? Growing up, you are told ‘boys don’t cry’, ‘don’t smile so much, you will seem flirtatious’! Each age bracket, each gender, and each gesture is cauterized, butchered, and literally assaulted into the many random meanings they could portray. Why aren’t we left to our innocence? Why must everything be subliminal or hypocritical or bureaucratic?

I never did learn to do any sort of such self disciplining acts. I am happy and you know it, it’s everywhere around me. It’s what brings the spring in my step, the bounce in my hair, the glint in my eyes, the uncontrollable grin that breaks up randomly!

I don’t even look for the Big Picture and all that nonsense!

I don’t CARE!

I’m happy ‘cus I got a good grade, I’m happy ‘cus I saw a pretty flower, I’m happy ‘cus they looked adorable together, I’m happy ‘cus I am!

There may be one reason or none.

There may be a hundred or a million.

I’m happy and I know it, why shouldn’t you?

When I’m happy and you DO, I just share a piece of me worth sharing, no?