Need, Want, Desire

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Make peace.

Find-Your-Fight

Fighting with myself is the most difficult.

I hate it

But fight I must.

Fight over what to eat, what to wear, what to say, where to go, who to be with.

Isn’t it easier to succumb? To all that others want me to do and be? To all that I feel like? To all, that’s such a piece of cake?

Why bother listening to the ‘inner Sarz’? It’s just so simple, doing as I want is such a lucid river to swim across, then why do I choose the murky, raging whirlpool?

What difference does it make to anyone what I choose to do and NOT to do! It seems like our lives are run by everyone around us except ourselves. The reins are never in our hands; instead, the neighborhood big mouth, the college bully, the irritating MIL, the infernally interfering ‘friend’ all have their own input and two cent’s worth to contribute towards us, completely unwarranted, I might add..!

Err, we might, humans, aren’t we all? Decisions we take might not be the best and choicest. Who gives a shit! If you don’t scald your hand, how would you learn to keep away!

Taking the high road has never been as plain as ABC; its about time, you learn to move past the laughing hyenas and abysmal cliff and smile the smile that makes all wonder what it is that you know and they don’t. Be happy with yourself. Own yourself.

Make the most of the time you have here, as there won’t be any left to repent when you move on.

Live like you want, talk like you should, jump off a cliff, take a chance!

Live a little!

Knock knock

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Listening is not easy. Hearing is. Listening requires me to absorb while fighting the urge to reply, talk back, make up an answer in your head. How do I train my mind, my self to deafen the noise and LISTEN?

The cell phone, Whats app, Facebook, Instagram. It all makes listening a task. An ordeal. Never ending chatter all around. Making it very very difficult to concentrate. Even on our own thoughts. Our wants. Our joy or grief. The world revolves round and round. So fast it makes you breathless.

No time to listen.

To look.

To breathe.

To love wholly.

Hating is easy. Loving is not. Being there for someone is hard. Abandoning is not. Sticking by when it all looks like its falling apart- an act of strength and character. Not everyone’s cup of tea.

Whether its work or home, when the going gets tough, we bolt. At least the weak ones do. Weak is not the word, perhaps. Normal? Me and you. Making time for effort and reconciliation not with another, but with ourselves. That’s the key to a lasting relationship. Terminating a subordinate. Divorcing one from it all. The path traveled every day again and again.

It takes passion and love to want to fix. If there is neither, no drive to push through, there’s nothing left to work for. Look inside. Ask yourself if this is where you want to be; is this your dream or reality. A dream you yearned for or the reality you fantasized of? If its not the case, stop. Breathe. Listen and learn. To the voice in your head. It doesn’t lie.  Refuse to be bogged down by the bandwagon. Follow the rainbow to your pot of gold.

Love like there’s no tomorrow.

 

 

 

The Deaf, Blind and Mute

 

Love is blindness. And blinding.

How far will you go for a glance? How far would you go to hear a voice?

People are not mad. Love is what drives them mad.

Loving another more than you love yourself is what drives you up the wall. Unless you love yourself, you wont be able to love another, is this old legend that no one understands or comprehends. Do any one us love ourselves? Are we concerned about not hurting our feelings as much as we are about hurting another’s? Not really!

Love, lust and more is what drives each one of us. We are selfish only to the extent of getting what we want and then we are done. It all loses its charm once we have acquired the subject of our desires. Marriage, a relationship, a job, a new house or any gadget. Its all about possessions and territories. Owning some one or some thing. So what becomes of our self owning us? I doubt I ever thought about all the redeeming qualities I have, its mostly about how to get better and how to get a lil bit more, every day, every where. Wanting more is no crime. But not knowing or accepting all that you already have is.

Count your blessings. Be grateful. Stop losing yourself in the name of the game. Love is a beautiful emotion. It engulfs one; so blinding is its halo, that you don’t see the horns. It isn’t love that is to be blamed, as it usually is in all laments, sad songs; it isn’t even the ‘beloved’ that doesn’t want you or moves on to the next big thing. It is YOU. If you knew how to love yourself, how to respect you, how to accept and adore your good, bad and uglies, you would be on cloud number 9. You wouldn’t need a man or a woman to tell you how significant you are, how much of a difference your existence makes in their life, how badly your absence affects them. You would know who you are and who you aren’t. You would be exactly where you want and surprisingly, VERY happy!

I don’t know why no one talks about or sings about loving me! Its the best feeling in the world, very refreshing and liberating. Everyone learns it eventually, some the hard way, others when its too late and half their lives have passed them by. A mid life crisis is not really a crisis, its when you actually stop to think of smelling the roses and take a good hard look at yourself and say ‘this is not me, or who I want to be’. I love how people do that! Take a giant leap into the abyss and emerge knowing a lot more from the darkness than they ever did from the blinding lights they surrounded themselves with.

Forget loving thy neighbor for a few days.

Try loving you.

Let me know if that helps or hinders your quest for the happiness legend! 🙂  

 

All or None

Failure, as I see, is not what breaks us. Neither does its admission. It is the failure to realize that we have failed that does. It takes a big person with an even bigger heart coupled with a very tiny ego to admit that they did not succeed.

From birth, we are taught to win, at school, in a race to prove ourselves better than all around (or maybe even just a few). Being taller, prettier, smarter, bigger, faster, funnier, or any other ‘-er’, a few inches, a few points more. We are raised with the expectations that we will make our family proud by being superior in some way, somehow. Each small victory is celebrated massively and every stumble is dismissed actively. We want to show our children that we love them, but not their ‘faults’, their shortcomings. Coming from a family of over achievers is very trying if you have managed to disappoint in some aspect of your life, be it school, work or love. What we do not see or close our eyes and hearts to, is the spectrum of triumph and how broad it is..

What you may view as a problem, disappointment or mistake, may be a blessing millions pray for each day. The capacity to read, write, look, smell, taste, walk, touch, feel, breathe is desired by someone somewhere. Each moment you live, each breath you take is a celebration of your presence. Whether you lack the ability of sight or the vision of possibilities has deserted you is the question.

Not being able to see is not as tragic as not being able to dream.

Not being someone’s better half than not being half better than who you were yesterday.

Losing or winning the races or by the standards set by the world around, but forgetting your true potential leads you down the path of denial, self destruction and ultimately the greatest loss- the loss of the Real You. Failing at what you really want in life will not derail you or destroy you either. It will strengthen your resolve, solidify your belief in you and fuel a burst of energy toward your passions.

We fail each day. We still keep moving forward. Failing helps us learn. What to avoid, what not to do, and what to try. It brings out creativity and keeps the wheels turning.

Enjoy your disappointment more than your excitement. It will move you to move mountains.

Raise the bar.

Raise you.