Fighting with myself is the most difficult.
I hate it
But fight I must.
Fight over what to eat, what to wear, what to say, where to go, who to be with.
Isn’t it easier to succumb? To all that others want me to do and be? To all that I feel like? To all, that’s such a piece of cake?
Why bother listening to the ‘inner Sarz’? It’s just so simple, doing as I want is such a lucid river to swim across, then why do I choose the murky, raging whirlpool?
What difference does it make to anyone what I choose to do and NOT to do! It seems like our lives are run by everyone around us except ourselves. The reins are never in our hands; instead, the neighborhood big mouth, the college bully, the irritating MIL, the infernally interfering ‘friend’ all have their own input and two cent’s worth to contribute towards us, completely unwarranted, I might add..!
Err, we might, humans, aren’t we all? Decisions we take might not be the best and choicest. Who gives a shit! If you don’t scald your hand, how would you learn to keep away!
Taking the high road has never been as plain as ABC; its about time, you learn to move past the laughing hyenas and abysmal cliff and smile the smile that makes all wonder what it is that you know and they don’t. Be happy with yourself. Own yourself.
Make the most of the time you have here, as there won’t be any left to repent when you move on.
Live like you want, talk like you should, jump off a cliff, take a chance!
Live a little!
“Sigh no more, ladies, sigh no more,
Men were deceivers ever,-
One foot in sea and one on shore,
To one thing constant never.”
― William Shakespeare,
“The most excellent Jihad is that for the conquest of self.” (Bukhari)
Finding a job, a way of life, a reason to be or just an earning avenue. How do you choose your career or does your career choose you? Each of us have a story, a tale to tell- be it a CEO, a stylist, or a sales exec. Some have wanted to be who they are, others not so much. Some crave a new life, while others are sated doing exactly what they do.
It is a pity when we don’t enjoy who we are and how far we have come. Instead of enjoying your current status, you choose to gripe and whine about what didn’t happen and should have, what you could have been, how you aren’t where you dreamed to be. New entrants or Trainees, senior managers, or the in betweens, you see and hear dissatisfaction and unhappy employees all around. They may be toxic to the core or just plain annoyed by their lives not turning out the way they envisioned. Planning a strategy is fine, but having the acumen to figure out how to alter it as the factors around and inside you unfold is essential to finding the best that you can do and be.
Whether you stumbled upon this job, were not able to do any other or dreamt of it for years, it doesn’t matter. What matters is your attitude. How you brave the odds. How you face adversity. How you treat those around you. How humble you are in your triumphs. Learning and growing we are each day.
Why do you do what you do? It matters not.
How you do what you do is the key.
“The purpose of life is not to be happy. It is to be useful, to be honorable, to be compassionate, to have it make some difference that you have lived and lived well.”
Are you not afraid of what you are doing and all that you say to hurt those around you? Is dying your biggest fear? Is the thought of not living or breathing terrifying?
What fate could be worse than never being able to speak or talk or be with
your family, friends, strangers, or any worldly being?
I know of no one who says they are ready to die now, today or even a year from now. Who wants to find out what happens in the Beyond. Do any of the religions tell us that we are immortal? There are re-incarnations but our mortality is a reality that we can’t deny, no matter what. An accident you are a part of, or news of a fatal diagnosis of a colleague/family or even of celebrities gives us chills. It’s so very astounding that we all know and accept that we will not be around forever but none of us bother about it. We know we are nearing our demise every second, but we seem indifferent to the inevitable.
We know exactly what we are capable of, the callousness, the pain we inflict. The horrors we are for so many.
I know what I did and what I said. To my own offspring, to my ex, to my bff that’s not anymore, to the past and to the future.. I know I broke my own heart, not just yours.
Who can heal the blister that is scratched at again and again. By your parents, your neighbor, your new colleagues. What pleasure do any of us get from tearing another apart? From reminding them of a yesterday they are not in any more – one they have left behind, or are attempting to, day after day.
That is the tragedy of our race. Sadism. We all partake in it. And scoff at those who say otherwise. “I am very considerate of people.” Consideration involves considering. Who stops to think before they blurt? Listen or observe a slight cringe, the flicker of panic in the eyes of the one you are pushing for an answer to your blunt queries. You all notice, you choose to still prod and poke and dig your way around. Move blindly on to listen to what they reveal and what they don’t. Make up your own version of exaggerated horror shows, apocalyptic and devastating. You and I both.
The worst of all humanity is inside us. We are equipped with the ability to choose. What choices do we make? To brazenly ask all that we feel privy to. Marriage, romance, divorce, childlessness, adoption, unemployment. Our curiosity knows no bounds, we are insatiable in our appetite for agony.
Learn to stop or take pause. Go back. To yourself. Who were you an hour ago or 5 years past? Are you the same or have you grown? Do you have the luxury to wait for a moment more? A day? You know it’s inevitable. Your cremation, funeral, final rites. They stare at us in the face, as our hearts pound at each hurriedly braked stop on the road, a tripping in the shower. People collapse in the middle of a meal or a joke, never to eat or laugh or breathe again.
So what or who are you waiting for? No one can save you or change you except you.
Be a better you.