Turning Tables

I’m sorry. I can’t give you what you want. I can’t be who you need. I am not the one. I know I seem like the best but I’m not. I have nothing left to give. I can’t play this game anymore.

I am done.

I can’t keep breaking your heart every day..

You are my friend.

I can’t be more.

It takes courage to open your heart, lay it on a platter and wait to be gorged; devoured and torn into bite sized portions, forked away, and perhaps even returned for not being ‘just right’.


Your worst nightmare. It’s like you woke up and didn’t quite wake up. Your eyes are open but the night’s still dark, still terrifying. The words cut like a knife.

Bad Romance! And you still want it. You want the love, you don’t wanna be friends. You are caught in a bad romance.(Don’t you love Gaga’s prophetic lyrics!)

Your friends lecture you again and again and get you to see the REAL her/him. They tell you all the gossip and all the scandalous info that they can dig up. You can’t stop. You don’t care. You want it all. As much as possible.

I am not defending the lovesick idiots or trying to make a vamp/villain of the besotted. It’s out of your hands. The matters of the heart cripple one like nothing else. I can’t change how you think and how you feel. He can’t either. He can’t push you away. The more he does, the more you desire him.

The biggest question is, is he worth it?

I don’t think so!

You are beautiful. An amazing woman. He isn’t worth your tears. Or your second glances. He loses when he says no to you. And mark my words, he isn’t worth the friendship either. It’s a rule of thumb; there isn’t any way in HELL that he can be your friend. He is using you. You are letting him use you. Or perhaps, he really can’t do anything. He just can’t. He doesn’t feel that way about you. He doesn’t look at you differently. He doesn’t feel how you do. Or maybe he does and he doesn’t have the guts to do what is needed.

It’s quite true what they say, all men are cowards, women have the guts in the race; they do what is required, regardless of consequences, they fight the world for the ones they love.

If you find a man who is ready to do that, you have struck gold. They are a rare breed. Hold on to him.

Don’t go looking for love. It will come to you when you least expect it. He will find you. He will see you in the midst of the crowd. He will know you. He will cherish you. Give you what you deserve, what you craved, help you forget, help you heal. He will be yours and not afraid to say it. He will walk you down the aisle for all the world to see. He will lead you to the island of bliss. Beware of the wind that will sweep you away.. it’s right around the next bend…


“Your task is not to seek for love, but merely to seek and find all the barriers within yourself that you have built against it.”
 Jalal ad-Din Rumi quote

Making them good girls go bad

Good girls have an almost animalistic magnetic pull and some innately centered compass for bad boys. Why is it that opposites attract? Does the attraction mean anything but lust? Does the charm of being with a tall, dark, handsome, crude, biker dude last after a date or two? At times it seems to be the weirdest and most unlikely of happenings that certain couples come to be. And most of the time, the girl knows what she is in for. Though she may have been reeled in by the macho Playboy’s ruggedness and husky voice in the beginning, but at the back of her head, she knows pretty well that she hasn’t chosen a prince charming this time. He isn’t the perfect gentleman and he plays the field and is probably seeing a few other girls at the same time he is seeing them.

Why do these apparently rational women turn to blundering idiots? Why can’t they see, hear, smell, feel or sense the sad demise of their fairy tale romance? Because that’s what it is, precisely, romance. When it’s all said and done, one can seldom explain the hows and the whys of their actions when they have fallen prey to Cupid. It could be at first sight, and mostly it is; and then at times, there are cases when the girl gets to know him a little and realizes that there appears to be a minute chance of reforming the demonic monstrosity that everyone sees, but only she understands. This is a time old phenomenon; a woman out to make an honest man out of the pariah.

It is rightly said and I truly believe that one’s partner in any phase of life plays a huge role in the making or breaking of their future. I have witnessed the slow and gradual stagnation of troubled waters of turmoil in several disturbed men, all thanks to their patient, loving wives. And then there have been the satanic spouses that manage to be the hugest mistake that anyone could ever make and the cause of complete devastation that fails to ever completely disappear from a victimized partner.

Knowing all this, why, in God’s name, do people attempt such impossible relationships? Knowing that the plane could alter its route and arrive at heaven or hell at any time even with all the efforts they put in in chalking out plans for a perfectly smooth landing?

Because they have the audacity to believe;

in big, hairy goals.

The steadfast belief that they could end up as another happily ever after. And not as another could have been.

The faith in their partners.

The hope of a better tomorrow.

The blind love of the self and another.

Some call it insanity, foolishness, madness, a craze.

I call it living.

Its’ Murphy’s law, isn’t it? If something is meant to go wrong, it will. And it does.

People get cheated on.


Laughed at.

Ridiculed and insulted beyond their wildest imagination!


Does that mean that we stop trying?

Stop breathing?

Stop wanting?

Stop believing?

Believing in people. Believing in the goodness of another and the power of one’s true love is a sacred and remarkably commendable gesture. It takes dedication and courage to go after what you believe. Perseverance, love and prayers have always managed to get the goal (or the guy, in this case).

And if you do end up, a loser, for lack of a better term, have you really lost, after all?

For being in love, is like being in heaven.

Living, breathing ecstasy.

Ones who haven’t experienced the exhilaration that love offers haven’t yet been born.

It is better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all.”

So the next time you look at the woman across the restaurant looking in rapturous abandonment at her date, don’t judge her.

Smile and wish her luck.

For she is a woman on a mission. And you know very well, that she’s a force to be reckoned with, in Heaven or on Earth.