Over the centuries, men have been boggled with the wants, needs, desires, troubles of their counterparts. Helen of Troy, Diana, Cleopatra, Elizabeth Taylor, and Jennifer Aniston, to name a few, were and are figures of exceptional reverence, mystery, power, beauty beyond horizons, blah de blah..!
Why have we, the women, never truly cared about our hairy, smelly, funny little pals enough to understand them!? Or even put in any efforts to think of what they think of, care about, and expect from us, or the rest of the world! This is such a travesty, its beyond the tragic demise of Romeo and Juliet, or the loss of Cinderella’s glass slipper! It appalls me, truly, madly and deeply. Are they not worthy of even a few moments of our time? Should we not care about their unsatisfied, hungry, puny little brains!
Let’s try and think, without the ‘blondness’ and with the marbles that few among our species have been blessed with:
WHAT DO MEN WANT?
Cricket, soccer, basketball, golf, snooker, ping pong. There is an innate obsession with gaming. Be it outdoors, indoors, X-boxing or Grand-prixing or actual racing past Devil’s Point. I believe, or perhaps am getting an intuitive feeling, about the male mind’s insane affinity towards balls. They like throwing, jumping, running towards, running away from, dribbling, basically, any and every activity associated with balls. Sigmund Freud, anyone?
Does it have anything to do with the violent, competitive streak in masculine brains? Or is it a need to be part of a team and recognized for their efforts? Hmm….
2. Ban on shopping malls:
The disgust that one is sure to experience at the mere mention of groceries or last minute shopping or end of season sale is bound to give you a bad taste in the mouth. The only time they are not so offended is when they themselves have to go shopping for Nike shorts, cricket bats, or PSP games..
3. Food. Lots of it:
Men and food.
A love affair
They can eat and eat and then drink some more. The favorite season of any given man is the Ramadan, (all you can eat), and wedding season! Eating( read hogging) is tantamount to praying. It is a religion, sacred. Meat. Now that’s a topic on its own.. sigh.. Steaks-sirloin, tenderloin, barbeque-ed, fried, baked, boiled, whatever, as long as its meat, its a winner.
Moolah, dough, call it what you want. Men want to earn. I must say, its quite an advantage them earning and us spending.. But the madness that ensues if they are beaten at this by some guy at some promotion is quite a wonder!
5. Getting the gurrrl:
A boy of 5, 15 or 25 is concerned with getting the hawtest among their tribe. The criterion may vary, but the most popular traits are as follows:
a) Long hair
b) Giggles that never end at their jokes
d) lack of brains
e) disdain for food
Even though most 9/10 times it is not them who get the girl, but the guy who aced all the grades and now drives a Chrysler and has a fairly receding hairline, still they manage to waste not only hours, their bank accounts/ pocket money, and most of their adult life running after mirages ( wannabe Paris Hiltons/ Jessica Simpsons)..
6. To be ‘loved’:
Boys love to be appreciated. Understood. Idolized, if I may. The tendency is evident from my toddler to my toddler-ish ‘manager’. They love to be praised, especially when it comes to the above mentioned sports, career related wins.
Hearing them whine is an art one must master in order to be understood reciprocating their sentimental shenanigans.
Men grunt. Or hmm. Or nod. While watching TV, news, reading the paper or checking the KSE 100 index online, they will indulge in any or all. They are great listeners. You gotta give it to them, they keep up with constant whining, bitching, and endless gossiping about all your daily inputs and most of the times DO not pass any untoward comments or thankfully, any judgments.
Boys will be boys.
The funnest, sweetest, funniest, cutest among your lot most probably is, yeah, admit it, a BOY.
So give in to their whims, and grunting and pigging out once in awhile.
They don’t cry! (unlike your girlfriends, most of the time)
They will give you the time of the day, whether they’re in the middle of a conference, a video con, or a traffic jam, if you sound even a teeny bit frazzled..
Yes, boys will always be boys..
And you will always fall for them, however hard you try, and 98% of the time end up falling for life..!